


The Greenscreen Worcestershire Sauce

by Gazy_God_Retainer



Series: Prussia's Cursed Cooking [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Crack, Prussia needs help, everyones on fire, microwave death, no one wants to help him, save the boy, the greenscreen is back, the whole thing, they eat fire extinguishers??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 11:00:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19083676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gazy_God_Retainer/pseuds/Gazy_God_Retainer
Summary: Prussia gets tired of eating just green screen wursts, so he creates a sauce to go with it. Unfortunately, he goes about doing it in a very interesting way and everyone hates him for it.But don't worry, we all still love him





	The Greenscreen Worcestershire Sauce

**Author's Note:**

> So, uh, if you haven't read the Greenscreen Worst, you should probably read that before you read this, because you would be less confused than you probably already are. I apologize for any grammatical errors, my computer is kinda wonky sometimes, and autocorrect is a pain. Anyways, I hope you enjoy reading this!

Here we see Hungary, Austria, Prussia, Italy, and Germany sitting down to a nice feast of green screen wursts. But with a special homemade sauce, green screen worcestershire. “Wow why does this sauce taste like liquid fabric” Prussia questions, chewing on his saucy green screen wurst. “Well maybe it's because green screens are made of fabric and that sauce is blended green screen brohas” Germany replied. “Oh, well that makes sense, thanks West!“ Prussia says while slapping Germany on the back in a brotherly way, resulting in Germany choking on his nice fabric wurst. A chorus of oofs is heard before the rest of the dinner guests rush to keep Germany from dying. “Prussia what in the world are you doing? This is the 17th time this week that you've almost killed him and it's only Tuesday” Austria screams in utter distress. Prussia looks down for a moment, and looks back up with confidence in his eyes. “I have no clue what I'm doing, but that isn't going to stop me”. Prussia grins, walking over to Germany, and starts to repeatedly hit Germany on the back with a bit too much force. Who knows if it was already too obvious, but this doesn't help at all. With what little energy Germany has, he decides not dying is a good idea and flings Prussia away, and starts trying to unchoke himself. After much devotion, and barely any help, the wurst finally ends up on the floor and out if Germany's throat. “Why would you make this Prussia? It was already gross before but this sauce is sickening” Germany asks, getting to his feet. “I don't know why, but I really don't think it's that bad” Prussia responds, and he starts to think back to the process of how he created this disaster. 

 

~Fabulous Time Rewind~

 

“Hallo everyone!! Welcome back to The Green Screen Wurst legacy!!!” Prussia began loudly, declaring once again, the questionable things he would be doing to the kitchen. “This time, since we have nothing to go with our Green Screen Wurst, we’re going to make Green Screen Worcestershire sauce.”

At this statement, everyone in the next room turned around with a mixture of emotions on their faces. Most of them being ones of disappointment. Italy being the only one who didn’t look at him weirdly, solely because he was filming. Quickly brushing off their dirty looks, Prussia strode over to the walk-in deep freezer in the corner, and flung open the door before promptly nyooming inside. Despite it being unbearably cold, the awesome Prussian made his way to the very back of the freezer where his special ingredients were stored. 

“Since the whole microwave incident, I’ve been banned from using anything remotely electrical in the kitchen without supervision. However, I have this totally awesome freezer that absolutely no one knows about.” It didn’t register to him until later that Italy was in there with him the whole time. He hadn’t noticed the first time because he was too busy monologuing about his freezer.

Once Prussia found all his “ingredients” he nyoomed once more to the kitchen, where he could begin preparation. Unfortunately, there were more ingredients to the Worcestershire sauce than he thought. He took so long running back and forth between the deep freezer and the kitchen that Italy fell asleep right on the spot, still somehow managing to hang on to the camcorder he was using to record the crazy Prussian. Not even noticing that the young Italian had fallen asleep right on the counter, Prussia continued to pile the Worcestershire ingredients on top of him, and of course, his most favorite Green Screen. 

“Okay, now that we have everything, it's time to mix all the green screen flavored ingredients together, but first, we need to heat up the green screen so we can blend it within the sauce, undetected,” the awesome country proclaimed, semi-quietly. 

With that statement, he rolled up the green screen very tightly, almost in the shape of the infamous wurst, walked right over to the new fangled microwave, and promptly threw the green screen at it. He missed. It took him 4 tries in order to yeet it in the previously offending machine, all the while trying to do so as quietly as possible.

It was honestly a surprise that no one in the living room had wondered where the obnoxious nation had disappeared to. Or maybe they did, but they just didn’t care enough to find out. They probably hoped he died honestly.

Just like last time, Prussia sneakily changed the power of the microwave to 5,176 degrees Celsius, and set the timer for 15 minutes. While that was busy creating a nice fire in the background, Prussia set to working on blending the first ingredients together in a saucepan, which was heating over the stove. However, no matter how much he tried to look professional, he had no idea what he was supposed to be blending together and when. 

Somehow, Prussia managed to not set the saucepan on fire, unlike the rest of the currently burning kitchen. The timer still hadn’t gone off however, but the flames were starting to lick at the counter edges where Italy was still sleeping.

“What's that smell? It smells delicious” Prussia piped up after the way too long, and surprising, stretch of silence and crackling machinery. As he followed the scent he saw something burning, and realized that's where the luxurious scent was coming from. It was Italy's hair up in flames on top of his sleeping head. “Oh my goodness Italy you're on fire” Prussia screamed, attracting the sounds of three pairs of footsteps nyooming over to the kitchen at sanic speed. “Prussia oh my god what did you do?“ Germany screamed rushing to grab the fire extinguisher and spraying it all over Italy. This of course woke the Italian up out if pure curiosity and shivering from cold. “Oh is this frosting? How yummy!“ Italy exclaims, taking a whole hand full of CO2 and shoving it into his mouth, and immediately falling back over. Now they are all wondering how in the world did the CO2 from their fire extinguisher manage to solidify enough to the point where you can eat it. But they had more pressing matters on their hands, like that fact that Italy could die any second. “I didn't even realize it was on fire West, I was trying to live my life peacefully making some food” Prussia finally responded. “You call cooking food with a crackling microwave and huge fire behind you peaceful?” Austria asked, snorting as he said this. “Yes actually I do, it kept me nice and toasty” Prussia replied walking over to the flames engulfing half of the kitchen, putting his hands over them. “See, Austria, you should try something like this, it might make you less of a stick in the mud.” Of course, as soon as he said this, the flames jumped, lighting Austria’s beautiful coat on fire, despite him being much further away from the blazes than his apparently fireproof cousin. 

And of course, the Austrian was so absorbed with yelling at Prussia for being improper and ruining his not so beloved kitchen, that he didn’t notice he was on fire. At least until Italy woke back up and screamed weakly from behind him, did Austria realize that he in fact, was burning. However, everyone was so ecstatic that Italy had come back from the dead that they soon forgot there was still a blazing Austrian in the kitchen, including said nation. 

Sitting up, Italy took a brief look around him, observing the disaster that had happened while he was dead. “I - what?” He tried forming coherent sentences together for at least 5 minutes before giving up. This vitality didn’t last long however, because the innocent Italian quickly noticed some of the CO2 from the fire extinguisher and ate more, claiming it still looked like frosting despite it definitely not tasting as good. 

Of course, we can’t forget about Austria. Finally coming to the fatal realization that he was dying, he grabbed the dented fire extinguisher, and ate it. No one knows how he did it, it just, simply happened. The other four countries, stared at him in disbelief and shock as they witnessed him consume the rest of the object. 

Not really wanting to think about it too much, Hungary offered to help Prussia with his abomination he calls food. Shaking his head seemingly proud, Prussia turned away from his now dead cousins, and walked through the flames to get to the stove top where his worcestershire sauce was still boiling. Hungary, though terrified of following the same fate as Austria and Italy, trailed after the insane Prussian. Surprisingly enough, the fire wasn’t that hot, she reflected, thinking, ‘Oh God, I’ve fallen too far. The fire doesn’t even hurt. Guess I'll die.’

 

So as Hungary is dying and Italy and Austria are semi dying, Prussia and Germany are basically having a major mental breakdown. “What do we do?” Germany asks, looking around at the mess that Prussia has so manically created. “Well, we could clean or something?” Prussia suggested questioningly. “You actually having a good idea for a chance.. How surprising” Prussia glanced over to his younger brother with an offended look on his face, only to be greeted with a wall of flame. He never gets to answer in the end because then he is consumed by the flame, despite previously being fireproof,and joins his family in the eternal heat forever. Or at least as long as an immortal being can be dead for.


End file.
